How to be Happy
Are you searching for happiness? You feel stuck in life and you don’t know what direction to go. You’re unhappy at work, you’re stressed out at home, or you don’t know how to get past the pain you feel inside. Maybe a change of career, a promotion, or finding your soulmate will give you happiness. Or maybe it’s not what you don’t have but what you do have. Those internal barriers that are preventing you from being happy. Is it your current situation or unhealthy relationship that’s preventing your happiness? The past trauma or the daily stress that has you down and you keep slipping as you try and climb your way back up. You can work through whatever barriers you have, and reach happiness. The happiness from within. The long lasting happiness. It’s your time to find happiness.
What would make you happy?
Maybe, you struggle with happiness because you’re not where you want to be in life. You thought you would be making more money. You thought you would have had a promotion by now. You wanted to have a bigger house or to have traveled the world.
Ask yourself if you would be happy if you had more money and a bigger house but you didn’t have your husband and kids to share it with? Would you be happy if you could travel the world but you were alone?
Yes, “materialistic things” can make you happy but it’s temporary and superficial happiness. You would be happy if someone gave you a million dollars but the money will be gone one day and what will you have left? What good is money if you have no one around you to enjoy it with? There is a deeper happiness that can be reached. This doesn’t mean to not have goals of making more money. You should have goals that push you to reach higher and higher in life. I’m just saying to have gratitude for your loved ones and gratitude for what you have while in the process of reaching your goals.
Love, kindness, compassion:
The feeling you get when someone loves you, appreciates you, helps you: this is happiness. When you help teach someone, hold someone crying, support someone struggling: this is happiness. Love, kindness, compassion, support, and relationships in life give you happiness. The connection with others brings happiness. These are all circumstantial causes of happiness. But acts of love and kindness can affect your life in the long run, by creating more positive thoughts and acts in your future
Reaching goals can bring you happiness. Its circumstantial happiness. But as your confidence and self-love grow through accomplishing your goals, you are creating happiness for today and your future.
If you are alone. Without family or friends. Then you can reach out to someone. People at work, school, church, or the grocery store. Start a conversation with them and let them know you are looking for new friends and connections with people. Most people would love to befriend and help someone in need. Most people have the innate nature to connect and help others. Get on social media and find a Facebook group with people of similar interests. Know that you are not alone. Everyone around you is living with problems just like you. We are all connected and need connection. God is with you always, within you and around you.
How to be happy with barriers?
What if you have love in your life but you’re still not happy?
What more do you need?
Barriers of happiness:
Well, some things can prevent happiness.
Stress, grief, pain, trauma, anger, and resentments can all prevent happiness. There are many more possible barriers. You have to become aware of your barriers. Once you are aware of your barriers you can work on them. A therapist can help you work through your barriers. You can work through your barriers by journaling and self-reflection. Meditation and yoga can help heal your mind, body, and soul.
How to be happy in when circumstances are bad.
Circumstances are preventing your happiness:
Your current circumstance may be frustrating you or is painful and preventing your happiness. It’s okay to feel other emotions than happiness as it’s a part of life. But don’t stay too long in those negative emotions. Remember to have gratitude for what you do have and compassion for those who hurt you.
Life will be painful at times:
Understand that you will have pain in life. Every living being experiences pain. This is part of what makes us alive on earth. You will also experience anger, love, and joy. Feel those emotions and don’t push them away. You will grow as you journey up and down the mountains. Becoming stronger as you continue forward.
A relationship is preventing your happiness:
Maybe, you are where you want to be financially but you are experiencing loss, grief, stress, anxiety, or abuse with your loved ones.
Loss and grief needs to be felt. You need to feel those emotions. Don’t suppress them with drugs and alcohol or you will never be able to move forward in your life. You will be happy again. Just be patient with yourself.
If you are experiencing stress and anxiety in your relationships then you need to look at a few things. Is this person causing you stress? Did you think a person was causing you stress but it was your insecurities deflected on that person? Can communication be improved?
If you are experiencing physical abuse, please seek help. You deserve better. You deserve to be safe, loved and happy. You can speak to the police, your doctor or nearest shelter.
Go to, National Domestic Violence Hotline, at www.thehotline.org.
Call 1-800-799- SAFE (7233)
How to be happy when your grieving for someone or you have an unhealthy relationship.
Relationships preventing your happiness:
Your Insecurities causing problems
If this person is causing you stress, are they an energy vampire, complainer, negative thinker, or pessimist? If so, can you remove this person from your life?
A parent, sibling or friend would be a person that you can remove from your daily life. You can still love them from a distance. You can still talk with them but keep it to a minimal and prepare yourself for that interaction. Give yourself some extra time that day to meditate and do self-care to refill your energy tank if you plan on spending time with them.
Your husband may be stressing you out every day and preventing your happiness. So how do you get your happiness back? If your husband was happy then his distress would not be stressing you out. Maybe it’s time to set time aside for the two of you to reconnect, feel the love, talk about goals, fears, disappointments, and appreciation for each other.
If it’s your kids that are stressing you out then ask for help. Take a break for self care. Have some time for yourself to read, write, do yoga or meditate. Refresh your mind and body so you will be a brand new person when you go back to your kids. They’ll come running to you when you return and you’ll be so happy to see them. Don’t feel guilty. All mothers get stressed out and most mothers could probably benefit from more help.
Communication can improve your relationship. Communicate what is causing the stress and how it can be improved. Tell each other your needs and expectations in the relationship. Let that person know if something is lacking. Maybe you need more quality time, more conversation, better listening, more cuddling, or verbal appreciation. Relationships can be fixed with the right communication. Don’t use words or a tone of voice that will cause the other person to become defensive. Speak with patience, compassion, and grace.
How to be happy during stressful times.
What if you want to be happy but you can’t because you feel so stressed?
You have the strength within you to overcome those negative feelings. You are strong enough to get through any situation so work towards your victory with a smile on your face.
How do you find your strength?
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There are different mediation books and tools that can help you meditate.
A simple exercise:
A simple exercise to try would be to sit down in a comfortable position. Prepare an area that is quiet and dark or dimly lit with candles. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Take five deep breaths. Inhale through your nose. Let your belly expand, then lift your chest and take in some more air, hold a few seconds and exhale every bit of air. Those deep breaths will help to relax you. Then breathe normally but still focus on your breaths as this relaxes your mind and distracts your mind from thinking a million thoughts per second. As your mind wanders, refocus on the breaths. Over time, Increase your time meditating. Thank you for taking the time to take care of yourself.
No matter what religion you have, prayer can help get you back in touch with the bigger picture. You can get stuck in those negative thoughts. Remember how big the world is and think of the infinite universe. You are so small in comparison to the universe but you are vastly important because you affect all the people and environment that you come into contact with and beyond that. We are all connected. Have hope that God is with you in your pain and he will deliver you through your problems. That you are never alone because God is always with you.
Read, Finding Happiness, to learn more about Buddhism and how you can chant your way to happiness.
Saying positive statements that you want to manifest can bring you strength. You say it, you breathe it, you believe it, and it’s true. “I am a great mother. I am patient and gentle with my children. I am highly valuable to my family. I am a beautiful woman inside and out. I have the intelligence, wisdom, and power of a goddess.” you can say anything you like. Whatever makes you feel strong and empowered to get through life’s challenges.
Past trauma can prevent a person from growing. Stuck in the beliefs of the circumstances of the past. Fear of the bad circumstances repeating itself. Loss of self-esteem because you were not respected by others as you should have been.
Yin and Yang
Opposite but complementary forces.
There is good and bad in the world, feminine and masculine, up and down, yin and yang.
Someone may have hurt you in the past but how many people have loved and helped you? You may have experienced abuse, abandonment, neglect, or isolation. But what else have you experienced? You probably experienced Love, kindness, and grace. It takes growth to learn to have gratitude during challenging and disappointing times but you can appreciate your strength and wisdom you have gained while overcoming your obstacles. Your growth becomes stunted when you hold onto the past and keep reliving the past with the same perspective and beliefs. Forgive and let go of the past. You are so much more than your past. You are not what happened to you. You are not your mistakes. Good and bad situations will happen in life but you are a special being with limitless strength within you to accomplish any desire and overcome any obstacle. No matter what negative thoughts enter your mind, you have all the power within you to heal, grow, and win. There is good and bad in the world. Have gratitude for the good and have gratitude for your strength while overcoming the bad. Help and support others who have gone through similar situations. Start an organization to help others in that situation. You understand someone who is going through that same situation and you can teach family members how to support that person. You can use what caused you pain, to help others, which in return will bring you happiness.
Are you still struggling with the idea of happiness when experiencing stressful situations or contemplating the suffering of the world?
Happiness is to find gratitude in it all.
Your emotions will go up and down in life but don’t stay down too long. Reach out and help someone or hug someone and observe as your happiness rises. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t always find gratitude because you are only human on a journey of self growth just like the rest of us. Sometimes you will feel pain for others who are suffering. We have different emotions for a reason. We are supposed to feel those different emotions. You don’t need to suppress those feelings or feel guilty for not being happy. Just, keep your gratitude through the ups and downs. Don’t forget the bigger picture. Your thoughts and actions will affect many people. You can pray, you can volunteer, donate money, or give small random acts of kindness. You can help the world with these gestures.
Happiness can be reached no matter what your situation is. Circumstances can make you happy or make you sad. People can make you happy or make you sad. Love, kindness and compassion can make you happy and create happiness in your future. Having goals and reaching goals creates self confidence and self love which will create happiness today and in your future. Internal barriers can be preventing your happiness so you need to become aware of them and work through them. You have all the strength within you to overcome all obstacles. You just need to release your strength. Release the lion in you. You are so small compared to the universe but your impact on the world is bigger than comprehension. Your actions and your thoughts affect the world. A random act of kindness can help the world. Helping others who go through similar challenges can help the world and create happiness for your future. Life has ups and downs and your emotions will go up and down. The universe has opposite but complementary forces causing you pain at times. You can find gratitude during the pain and frustration. Having gratitude during the more difficult times will create happiness for you. Happiness is not money or a person. Happiness is love, kindness, compassion, and gratitude.
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